Comedy

Predictions for 2018

As we enter 2018, here are a few predictions for the year ahead…

Donald Trump will be recorded on tape asking an aide if Narnia is a real place, and if “that’s where Islam comes from”. The White House’s official line will be that Trump was joking.

Ed Sheeran will release a bland and inoffensive acoustic song which will somehow infuriate half the planet.

Britain First’s Paul Golding and Jayda Fransen will break into a mosque and set Sikhs on fire in the street. When convicted of attempted murder they will release a statement criticising a ‘dangerous PC culture’ which makes it ‘impossible to stand up against foreign invaders’, ‘even when they look a bit brown’.

Trailers for the new Han Solo film will infuriate fans by introducing two new characters who previously didn’t have their own Wookiepedia page.

Manchester City will win the Premier League with a record 100 points. Jose Mourinho will say that Manchester City’s budget is solely responsible, and demand Manchester United break the world transfer record again. Manchester United finish fifth.

Continue reading “Predictions for 2018”

FootballOpinion

Premier League Predictions

The Premier League has finally got around to starting their games, the lazy buggers, kicking off for the first time yesterday. To tie in with this, there was a new piece on BornOffside yesterday morning, we took a look at what we think for the season ahead.

Only pretentious people and things wear crowns.
Only pretentious people and things wear crowns.

Eight of us gave our thoughts on who’ll win the league, qualify for the Champions’ League, be relegated, and surprise expectations. A few times we contradict each other, which is proof that we shall be proven right on all things.

Click here to read the BornOffside Premier League Preview

FootballOpinion

Two Games in – A Perfect Time to Announce Some Predictions

This went up a little later than it should have, but yesterday BornOffside published predictions made for the Football League and Conference by myself and two others – Lucy Waldon and Dan Rawley.

Obviously, predictions should be made before the event begins, as the word, broken down, should make clear: pre- meaning previous to, and -diction meaning… to pronounce correctly. Actually, that just about makes sense.

This picture of a hamster, however, makes no sense.
This picture of a hamster, however, makes no sense.

Though it’s been published after two Football League games and one Conference game, all predictions were made before the Football League started.

Click here to read Football League & Conference Predictions