Read my Poetry

The Lobster is King

 

 

Lobsters have a patriarchy
Therefore patriarchy is natural.
It’s science.
We should embrace the natural order
And force the honeybee to do the same.
.
Witches are real:
They live in swamps.
Be precise in your speech.
.
Nationalise the vagina.
Enforced monogamy is necessary.
I will not use the pronoun ‘they’.
It is authoritarian to force me to be polite.
.
Marxism is on the rise.
Postmodern neo-Marxism.
Postmodern neo-Marxist Cultural Bolshevikism.
Words no longer have meaning.
.
Dragons are real.
They are a category.
Like predators are a category.
Be precise in your speech.
.
The sexual marketplace must be rigged,
To compensate for male brutality.
Lives would be saved:
Elliot Rodger could have been prevented
By a National Courtesan Service.
(Maybe not Omar Mateen,
But no system is perfect.)
It is conscientious for women to be agreeable.
.
This is science.
This is logic.
This is rationality.
Clean your room to ensnare a Chaos Dragon.
.
Men are violent.
Women must pay the price.
But be careful not to say that:
Be imprecise in your speech.
European Lobster by Bart Braun, Wikimedia Commons 2017-10-22.jpg
Film & Television Opinion

Sex, Gender and the Thirteenth Doctor

The casting of Jodie Whittaker as the Thirteenth Doctor has predictably caused a venting of fury, and mocking of the furious. It’s sad, because it should have been a cause for excitement at casting such a talented actor.

I’m one of the few people in the UK not to have seen either Broadchurch or Downton Abbey, but I’ve been a fan of Whittaker since seeing her in Attack the Block and Venus. Her performance in Venus is probably one of my favourite ever performances – as a young, chavvy girl she has a weird quasi-romantic relationship with an elderly actor, played by Peter O’Toole. At various times Whittaker’s Jessie is warm-hearted, funny, sympathetic and vulnerable, exploitative, emotionally indifferent and tender. Taking aside the question of her sex, Whittaker is clearly qualified for the role. While there were justifiable questions around the lesser-known Matt Smith when he was cast, Whittaker clearly has the CV to take a major role like The Doctor, and I’m excited to see what she’ll bring – probably more so than any of the new era of Doctors.

Continue reading “Sex, Gender and the Thirteenth Doctor”