Read my Poetry

The Lobster is King



Lobsters have a patriarchy
Therefore patriarchy is natural.
It’s science.
We should embrace the natural order
And force the honeybee to do the same.
Witches are real:
They live in swamps.
Be precise in your speech.
Nationalise the vagina.
Enforced monogamy is necessary.
I will not use the pronoun ‘they’.
It is authoritarian to force me to be polite.
Marxism is on the rise.
Postmodern neo-Marxism.
Postmodern neo-Marxist Cultural Bolshevikism.
Words no longer have meaning.
Dragons are real.
They are a category.
Like predators are a category.
Be precise in your speech.
The sexual marketplace must be rigged,
To compensate for male brutality.
Lives would be saved:
Elliot Rodger could have been prevented
By a National Courtesan Service.
(Maybe not Omar Mateen,
But no system is perfect.)
It is conscientious for women to be agreeable.
This is science.
This is logic.
This is rationality.
Clean your room to ensnare a Chaos Dragon.
Men are violent.
Women must pay the price.
But be careful not to say that:
Be imprecise in your speech.
European Lobster by Bart Braun, Wikimedia Commons 2017-10-22.jpg
Film & Television Opinion

Sex, Gender and the Thirteenth Doctor

The casting of Jodie Whittaker as the Thirteenth Doctor has predictably caused a venting of fury, and mocking of the furious. It’s sad, because it should have been a cause for excitement at casting such a talented actor.

I’m one of the few people in the UK not to have seen either Broadchurch or Downton Abbey, but I’ve been a fan of Whittaker since seeing her in Attack the Block and Venus. Her performance in Venus is probably one of my favourite ever performances – as a young, chavvy girl she has a weird quasi-romantic relationship with an elderly actor, played by Peter O’Toole. At various times Whittaker’s Jessie is warm-hearted, funny, sympathetic and vulnerable, exploitative, emotionally indifferent and tender. Taking aside the question of her sex, Whittaker is clearly qualified for the role. While there were justifiable questions around the lesser-known Matt Smith when he was cast, Whittaker clearly has the CV to take a major role like The Doctor, and I’m excited to see what she’ll bring – probably more so than any of the new era of Doctors.

Continue reading “Sex, Gender and the Thirteenth Doctor”